I don’t want to be a zombie so stop throwing sheep at me

In one of Facebook’s endlessly useless widgets, Jonathan Washburn said I have a better sense of humor than one of his other “friends” (sorry, I don’t remember which one). I’ll take it as a compliment. I’d like to think I’m among the more light hearted among us. Who else would establish a mortgage industry blog and call it lenderama? On the other hand, there’s a line between light hearted fun and just plain freaking me out.


A couple weeks ago, Mariana Wagner used Facebook to throw a pumpkin at me. I’ve seen from first hand experience what throwing a pumpkin will do to a mailbox, and Mariana, that’s really not cool. April Groves used Facebook to tell me I’m the most likely person she knows to drop my keys in a toilet. Lani Anglin took the opportunity to tell me she thinks I’m a strong candidate to steal candy from a baby. Thanks ladies, why didn’t I think to put that on my resume? Can I list you two as references?

Jessica Hughes invited me to play TV trivia games with her, Maureen Francis wished me a happy birthday, and both Teresa Boardman and Frances Flynn Thorsen rank me not only as a “friend”, but as a “Top Friend”. Apparently plain old “friend” doesn’t have the same importance it once did. Not to be outdone, Kristal Kraft blew off the notion of including me as a mere “Top Friend”, and invited me to join her bloodline of vampires.

I shouldn’t be complaining here, especially with all these ladies poking, hugging, and throwing sheep at me. Except, all the women I mentioned so far are married. Trust me, when you’re as devilishly handsome as I am, there’s bound to be a jealous husband out there. There always is.

I joined Facebook primarily to network with other Real Estate Web2.0 professionals. I guess it’s working. I noticed Erica Lee had a Facebook account. She’s a PR agent that had contacted me in the past concerning one of her clients. When I sent out an offer to be her “friend”, all was silent. A few weeks later, when I met her in person, she told me she hadn’t recognized my name. She thought I was a stalker. Great… more material for the resume. At least she finally accepted my offer of “friendship”.

I’ve also tried joining groups on Facebook. After much trial and error, I’ve determined the point of a group is to join, then never once visit the group ever again. That reminds me, I need to start a group of my own, I’m sure everyone will join, they always do.

So far, my “friends” fall into two categories. People I already knew before Facebook, and people I still don’t know, but they asked to be “friends” with me. I don’t see the any reason to say no. According to Facebook, I have 73 “friends”. I have a question for nearly all of them. Do you wear Bermuda shorts to work? If I were still originating, there’s no way I would let my clients know I have my Facebook account. I’m sure there’s a way to professional represent yourself on Facebook, but I haven’t seen it. It appears to be more of an online playground, perfect for college kids, but kind of dumb for professionals in our industry. If you’ve found a better way, I’d love to see it.

In the mean time, I was only joking about the title. I’ve shelved the idea of doing business on Facebook, so go wild. Feel free to continue to throw sheep at me, invite me to your groups, and offer your “friendship”, even if you’re a complete stranger. Marina’s throwing mashed potatoes at me as I write this, so everyone might as well join in.

0 thoughts on “I don’t want to be a zombie so stop throwing sheep at me

  1. Teresa Boardman

    Todd – I guess I have not thrown anything at you yet. I confess I don’t know all of my friends and that includes my top friends. Your post here has given me an idea. I think I’ll start a geek group and invite you. 🙂

  2. Frances Flynn Thorsen

    I had a call from my sister a couple of months ago after I “poked” one of my nephews and his fiancee … she told me that there are serious sexual overtones to “poking” on Facebook and I should be careful and avoid such behavior. Since “throwing sheep” is a pretty advanced “poke,” I decided not to throw sheep, either. I ceased poking and ignored all incoming pokes for a couple of months.

    In the meantime I have studied the matter and discarded the notions that people who poke are offering sexual overtures … I think that my sister is mistaken … still, I have become so inhibited by her caveat that I am unable to “poke” at all … perhaps there is a group on Facebook for pokeless persons who yearn to be free … to be able to poke with wild abandon without looking back.

  3. rudy

    hi todd!

    i’m right there with you. i use facebook to stay connected with friends and family, not so much for business – yet.

    my “requests” and “notifications” sidebar on facebook has really gotten out of hand. so much so that i am just going to erase them all. no offense to anyone but i am not a vampire or zombie who likes to get superpoked.

    what’s an SMG to do?

  4. Kristal Kraft

    Todd ~ Facebook must have some redeeming value as a business connection, but I haven’t been able to figure out what that is yet either.
    I am amazed at how you can completely ignore it and all folks do to you and yet it continues to grow. The applications are getting out of hand.
    Excuse me now, I must go check on my popularity…

  5. Jason

    I just found this blog and find it quite interesting to follow. The Facebook marketplace can be quite useful at times, I have decided to stay away from the social aspect of the site, as I’ve seen many of my friends get very “caught up” in it all.

  6. Ginger Wilcox

    I am glad I am not the only one who couldn’t figure out how to mix pokes and pumpkin throwing with my business of Facebook. Seems fun, but not so sure about the “professional” aspect of it.

  7. April Groves

    Sorry it took me so long to come by…I was busy doing work for the causes in the flower garden with the sheep on my super fun wall while practicing my ninja skills against zombies.

    I’ll try to keep up better.

  8. Tamir

    I got this message “Hila has facebook decided to throw a coconut on you” 3 times already, Hila is my x wife, is it good or bad sign ? does it says she is angry with me or not? I’m not on her friends list so how can she do it ? how can I throw a coconut on her back ?


  9. Linsey

    This is GD hilarious. I’ve gotten compliments, 4 leaf clovers, cupcakes, plants and I’m plain confused by it all.

    I don’t know what it’s all for but I do know that in the last few months I’ve reconnected with family from 3,000 miles away, friends I haven’t seen in nearly 20 years from high school, college buddies, and old work colleagues. Now THAT is very cool. I find it easy to drop a quick note to someone or share a photo with friends.

    Keep the cupcakes and the random strangers that want to be my friend. I still love the connections I’d have otherwise missed out on.


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